What is the life like in 21st Century.
- As you read this list, you thought about forwarding it to your "friends you send jokes to" e-mail group.
- Being sick is defined as 'you can't walk' or 'you're in the hospital.'
- Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.
- Every week another collection envelope comes around because someone you didn't know had started is leaving.
- Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
- Interviewees, despite not having the knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told the starting salary.
- It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have seen this list already, but you can't be bothered to check, so you forward it anyway.
- It's dark when you drive to and from work.
- Temps in your department outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
- The intern gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours powers up.
- The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are on your desk and if you lucky you see them on the weekends.
- There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department is short, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
- When you go home after a long day at the office you still answer the phone in a business manner.
- When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.
- When you see a good looking, smart person, you know it must be a visitor.
- You buy a latest smartphone and a week later it is outdated by another model.
- You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbour yet this year.
- You consider postage delivery painfully slow and call it "snailmail."
- You e-mail your colleague at the desk next to you to ask "Do you have a minute?" and he replies "Snowed under but give me five minutes".
- You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
- You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years
- You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person
- You know exactly how many days you've got left until retirement.
- You need an app to be kept up to date with news.
- You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
- You read this entire list, kept nodding and smiling.
- You really get excited about a 1.6% pay rise which is 1.4% below inflation rate.
- You rely on electronic documents and statements available online until you cancel your account and company takes away all of your information.
- You take public transport or cycle in to get quicker.
- You try to enter your password on the microwave.
- You wonder who's going to be left to put money into your 'leaving' envelope.
- Your biggest loss from a computer crash is all of your jokes.
- Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your collection of best jokes.
- Your boss's favourite lines are: … * When you've got a few minutes... * Could you fit this in...? * ...in your spare time... * When you're free... * I know you're busy but... * You know where I am coming from…
- Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
- Your family and friends describe your job as "something to do with computers".
- Your idea of being organised is multicoloured post-it notes.
- Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they don't have e-mail.
- Your resume is on a USB Stick in your pocket.
- You're already late on the assignment you just got.
- You've run out of family member's birthdays to use for all of the ATM and banking PINs, email passwords, computer codes, and voicemail IDs you need to remember.
- You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.